so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
