The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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