Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
