Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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