Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
