You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
