Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
