literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
