You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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