I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
