I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
