You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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