Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
