dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
