thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
