covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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