I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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