I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
