only you would photoshop your dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
