Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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