i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize