All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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