Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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