READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
