Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
