Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
