All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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