So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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