i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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