I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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