Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Farmville is her only friend.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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