I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
