So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
