You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
