Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
