Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
