glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
