wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
