It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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