hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
