You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
