i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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