we have pet lesbian snakes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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