I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
