the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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