my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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