every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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