Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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