we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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