I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
