Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
