it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Randomize
