SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
