We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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